Thursday, November 22, 2012

Adult Bullying

Few days ago, I read an article about adult bullying. It was very interesting until I realized I'm a victim. That was bit of a shock and a devastating feeling. But then I realized up to different levels, we all are. And I felt much better. It always feels good be included rather than being left out, even if the group you belong is the worst kind. In this case bullying-victim group.

Let me tell u how I realized this ultimate truth. The article talked about most of the indicators to identify bullies and their victims. Something about harassment and "using their power to go after another". Bottom line is you know when you are being bullied if you feel someone else is forcing you to do things despite your unwillingness. ah! there goes the bulb. Now you know you are being bullied. Congratulations my friend. You have joined the club. ;)

However, it says that most of the adult bullying occurs at the workplaces. Oh boy! Never saw that coming, right? There is something important you have to understand here. I hope you remember that time, right after lunch, you feel all sleepy and you want so badly to drop dead on the table? And sometimes you are brave enough to do so. Then at that exact moment your manager comes and ask you what you are doing? And you are forced to keep your eyes open unwillingly. Well, unfortunately,  that's not bullying. I"m sure that theres another fancy word for that too. But sadly, it's not "Bullying". I'm talking about a situation where your manager asks you to work extra hours in order to cover someone else's work. And when you reject to do so, simply because you have your own personal life to take care of. Then your manager starts yelling at you saying that you'll not be entitled for either promotions or salary increment next year because you have very bad attitudes. Well, I think you get the picture here. My personal opinion is, that's bullying. Must say, very harsh bullying indeed.

Since you know the problem now, lets see what you can do about it. Well, there's practically nothing to do. You can't take any action against him/her. Of cause the article suggested to confront the bully, or to show that you are ignoring the person, or even to report the HR department. But trust me, that won't work.  Frankly, it'll get worse. But instead, I would suggest to stop showing, go ahead and completely ignore the person. Do things your way if you think it's right even if you don't get promoted next year. You wouldn't probably get promoted even if you do as your manager says. After all, who can trust a bully right ? ;)